Watching our thoughts gives us vivid clues to reality

I started my meditation practice using Vipassana as it is taught in Burma and Thailand. The concept is simple: watch your thoughts arise, watch them as they assume a life of their own, and then watch them fade away just as quickly and assuredly as they arrived--revealing to us that all things are impermanent. Studying the nature of our thoughts gives amazing clues as to how distracted, distraught and downright deranged our minds can be. And the key, as the great masters will tell you, is to neither become attached to, nor find ourselves in identification with, our thoughts. But that's really hard to do because we think that we ARE our thoughts.

My bird needs food, darn I forgot to buy food. The taxes are due, my spouse is an idiot, the car needs gas, the to-do list is endless and then the stories start. It's not my fault the project didn't go well at work, it's his or or her fault. They don't like me and they've already made that clear. Now the boss knows and he doesn't like me. The spiral is endless.

I remember sitting a work sweating that I was about to lose my job over a sale that went bad. I was literally sick over it. My boss didn't talk to me for a week and gave me bad looks in the hall. Then one day my boss came and sat down next to me and said 'There is something we need to talk about." I was about to throw up when he explained how it was his fault the deal got blown because he was getting a divorce and didn't give it the time or attention it deserved. He wanted to make sure I knew it wasn't my fault.

The entire time I thought it was my fault. I acted like an idiot, operating totally on false information. I lost sleep, yelled at my wife, barked at my kids, drank too much, etc., when in fact it was all an illusion. I was delusional and didn't know it. Then I began to wonder how many other aspects of my life I was sure were true, turned out to be totally false, just as this one had.

Sitting for even a brief period of time will reveal how truly discursive our minds are. If you want to seriously improve your life, spend a few minutes every morning watching your thoughts and see what happens with the rest of your day. The change will be remarkable.

Daily Tools - Patience

Today I had an eruption of cosmic proportions. Not since I can't remember when did I experience the kind of frustration and overall angst that occurred mid morning after a 'less than agreeable' client who I consider to be both greedy and short sighted came at me with an expectation that was tantamount to insanity. FIRE THE SOB, I thought to myself. Oh, but I can fire a client, have done so and will continue to do so when it makes good business sense. But this one didn't. I was angry and the client meant a lot to my firm. I needed to get a grip on myself and handle the situation like a pro. But how? I was right and he was wrong. It was so obvious. But that was my first mistake, bringing out the “I”.

I felt violated, angry, self-conscious and totally out of control. Wow, what an emotional ride this morning presented. And it all stemmed from the fact that my ego, my sense of self (ie that which felt violated) reared its ugly head in a most unpredictable and dangerous manner. Imagine if I had a gun.

Life, it seems, is always testing us to see how we react. I am convinced beyond a shadow of a doubt that it's not how much money one makes, ones social status, or any of the other 'cultural trappings' that seem so damn important while caught up in them; but how we handle ourselves when all things are laid bare and we are exposed to ourselves in the most profoundly naked and disgusting manner: when we get angry.

Patience is called the antidote for anger. And it's much easier said than done for anyone who can even vaguely recollect the feeling of wanting to throttle someone within inches of ones life (to quote from Pink). Finding ourselves amid the flames of anger can be next to impossible. I was quite aware that I was totally out of control this morning but I was powerless to control it. Only time helped me get a grip on things. And since time doesn't really exist, what was it that really helped me get my ego in check? Patience. I found patience. And I think I found it because I had been practicing.

Like someone studying a martial art, performing well in the Dojo is only possible through practice. One can't expect to perform an art form without practice. And patience is an art unto itself. It can turn the most destructive of all human emotions into a distant memory. By practicing patience, one becomes an artist at defusing situations. By practicing patience, one becomes an instrument for the betterment of all mankind. By practicing patience, one becomes a Bodhisattva.

Have a cup of patience today. Or maybe two....